365 days since dad’s demise. And 768 days since mom’s demise. In vedic literature it is said that the soul takes a whole year to make its journey to its destination, which could be Rebirth or Moksha – complete liberation from the cycle of birth. What happens after death, is a question that cannot be answered factually by any human being. Varying forms of belief and faith exist. I believe that their souls are at peace, watching over me as I fall and blossom. I also believe that they both passed away for a reason. So I could reach a higher level of self-realization and consciousness, which may have not happened as quickly otherwise. Complete acceptance. When something has such a profound meaning in your life, how can you not accept it? They had fulfilled their physical purpose on earth and were ready to fulfill their even bigger purpose in spirit. I was the apple of their eye. If they could have anything to do with the biggest spiritual growth spurt of my life, ‘hell ya’ they said 🙂
Yoga and meditation could not have allowed me to get to where I am today as quickly, without death surrounding me. Death has in fact brought out the best within me. That’s why I talk about it so much. It is the most transformational mind, body, spirit experience of my life. Life is very simple. I have this moment, and I will live it to the fullest, in a way most meaningful to me. To not have expectations from people (ofcourse, my beloved Sam is excluded from this:)), let go and be as fully present as possible in every moment is a wonderful feeling. I have been there for people because I wanted to and because my heart was in it, and not because I ever expected anything in return. However, I did have expectations when shit hit my roof 🙂 I used to be way more self critical than I am today and have also had a very high bar for relationships in general. All that has changed, freeing my soul up even more, giving me additional space to do what I love to do as best as I can and change the world with it.
To me, detachment does not mean ‘not getting attached’. It is the ability to attach so deeply, and yet let go. It is the ability to feel so much emotion, but yet let go quickly. The emotions may include laughter, smiles, regret, tears, and even anger. But can you observe and let them all go, and eventually be left with nothing but a smile from the soul, a peaceful smile acknowledging that everything is the way it is meant to be, right here, right now. Being the most empathetic person you can be and practicing detachment is a thing of beauty. And I have been trying to figure that out my whole life. Sounds simple, but for me, it was a longish journey .
The wound has healed, and all that is left is a scar, and this particular one is rather beautiful to me. The scar of phenomenal growth. Thank you amma and appa for leaving the most beautiful scar of my life. You made your death as meaningful as your life.
I’m sure life has more scars in store for me, but at the end of the day, I surrender, surrender to the universe with great joy, peace and acceptance.